Do you ever find yourself mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and realize you’re in an algorithm? Meaning, you find every post you scroll past having to do with a certain topic, simply because you clicked or liked a post with similar content. For example, you tap on a really good looking recipe and eventually all of the posts you’re seeing are food related? Or Britney Spears is shaving her head again and all the reels being presented to you are about Britney’s entire life story? As we have come to understand, the algorithm creates itself based off of content we seemly have interest in and we are marketed to based off this content. A key point to remember: one person’s algorithm is completely different than the next. This can be a great benefit to us, but can also be detrimental to our mental health based on what we choose to expose ourselves to.
So let's dive a little deeper into this idea of the algorithm. Let’s connect it to the brain.
Imagine the brain functions like the algorithms we see on social media. Kind of a terrifying concept, but honestly, not too far off from reality. The brain’s job is to make choices to keep us alive. To hold memory and to problem solve based off what we know. As we grow, our brain creates neural pathways to make processing easier, to learn more, to rebound, and to hold our internal experiences. The brain has so many other jobs, but in childhood and adolescence, we build the blueprint for those pathways to form, thus eventually creating the person we become. We have our genetics and we also have our environment to help pave the paths, and now, anyone with access to a phone and WiFi has social media and the World Wide Web has additional sources aiding in the mission.
Let’s answer the question now what all of this means for teens today and start with something called confirmation bias.
What is it? Confirmation bias is fairly simple. The brain is a survivor, and when the brain hears a narrative we tell it, its job is to prove it to be true. Subconsciously, all day long the brain fights to find evidence that the stories and beliefs we tell it to be accurate. So if the brain has been taught love and safety and has a positive view of self, then the brain is going to look for things that support that belief. However, the same is true both ways. If the brain has been fed any sort of belief that they are unworthy, not enough, or unloveable, then the brain is going to find evidence subconsciously to prove true that belief as well. Clearly, what we tell the brain is powerful.
If a teenage girl, for example, has poor body image and low self esteem, the content she is most likely being exposed to is proving to her that she isn’t enough. That she isn’t beautiful. That she isn’t worthy. Promoting awful self-talk. The brain has trapped her in a negative algorithm.
If you feel like a teen in your life is struggling with negative confirmation bias, or a negative algorithm of any kind, here are a few steps you can take to help her pivot her way of thinking:
Step 1: Wake up to the algorithm. Self awareness is the beginning of any sort of change. Talk to your teen about how she feels about herself and then explore the content she chooses to expose herself to. Is it on social media? Is it a toxic friend group? Is it a way of thinking? What does her inner voice sound like? All of these things are feeding the algorithm, strengthening the way it functions.
Step 2: If she is unhappy with the algorithm, how does she want it to look differently? What needs to change about her inner voice? What content does she need to let go of? Is it a certain friend? Maybe an app? This will look and sound different to each individual.
Step 3: Implement skills to encourage the new narrative so the brain can practice proving it true. Maybe stick post-it notes with positive affirmations on her bathroom mirror so she sees it first thing in the morning. Maybe take a social media fast or start using social media only to expose her to positive topics. Maybe it's joining a club or getting an after school job that brings her joy. Whatever it is, make it accessible so the brain doesn’t have to work that hard to understand the meaning of it.
Step 4: Practice compassion. We all slip up sometimes and rewiring the brain/changing the algorithm is hard, intentional work. Make sure your teen has support when things get challenging. Remind her she’s not alone.
And don’t forget, as a parent or an adult who wants to help a teenager in their life dealing with negative confirmation bias, you’re not alone. Therapy is an amazing resource to add to your teen’s toolbox. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us or a provider in your state to get the help she needs, especially if it feels bigger than you or she can handle.
Emily Burgess, LMSW, PMH-C
SheBlooms Director