The Pursuit of "Good Enough"

The pursuit of "good enough" often sounds like the antithesis of success. We are constantly bombarded with books, blogs, and videos that champion "overcoming" and "boss babe-ing" mentalities, leading us to believe that settling is unhealthy. We promise ourselves we'll never do it. We meticulously crop our photos and videos to hide the laundry piles and messy desks, creating a facade of having it all together.

However, there is a profound sense of liberation in accepting what "good enough" truly means. Whether you're considering a short-term project or a long-term life plan, releasing the burden of perfection and embracing "good enough" opens the door to hope. By acknowledging your current capacity and doing your best, you can find a freedom and joy you might not have expected. 

5 Steps to Manage Your Expectations 

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the expectations you've set for yourself? It's time to take a step back, recalibrate, and practice self-compassion. Here are five practical strategies to help you manage and modify those demanding standards:

1. Calm Your Nervous System with Breathwork

Begin by taking a deep breath. Exhale for a duration almost twice as long as your inhale. This simple technique, while perhaps feeling a bit strange, signals to your body that it's safe to release tension. Your nervous system needs to move off high alert for you to gain the clarity required to define a genuinely reasonable goal.

2. Assess the True Cost

We're often told, "You can be anything you want to be." While fundamentally true, the crucial follow-up question is: "At what cost?" Understanding what you might have to sacrifice to meet a particular goal or expectation, be it time with family, strong boundaries around self-care, or personal resources, allows you to plan differently. What initially seemed necessary might prove to be an unrealistic expectation when you consider the long-term price.

3. Practice Radical Kindness

Hold your expectations up to a simple test: Would you expect this from someone else you care about? Clarifying whether you're holding yourself to a different, often harsher, standard is essential. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a trusted friend. Reflect on whether you are talking to yourself in a way you would never speak to a loved one.

4. Lean into Your Community for Support

Your community, whether friends, family, work colleagues, or a faith group, can offer vital support to reduce the emotional, physical, and social cost of your high expectations. A robust support system can often be the difference between achieving a goal and feeling like you've failed. By asking for help, you may uncover unexpected expertise and support. Remember, a shared burden is a lighter burden for everyone involved.

5. Schedule a "Worry Meeting"

This final tip may sound unconventional. By scheduling a dedicated time to worry and overthink, you give yourself permission to process intrusive thoughts rather than suppressing them. Pushing away worry or racing thoughts can often intensify them. By allocating a specific time (when you have the resources to cope), you gain a sense of control and may find quicker solutions. When an intrusive thought arises, tell your brain, "That's on the agenda for our meeting later." Once the meeting starts, follow the agenda and fully process each concern. While stopping and redirecting thoughts takes practice, it helps build more effective neural pathways.

We expect a lot from ourselves. If you need someone to help you carry it for awhile, the She Blooms team is ready to support you and help you process how to become the part of you that dances in freedom.